New Year Resolutions

“The way I learned it, the kid in the school yard who doesn’t want to fight always leaves with a black eye. If you indicate you’ll do anything to avoid trouble, that’s when you get trouble.” 50 Cent

As a rule, New Year’s resolutions are not directed at others but projected onto ourselves in an attempt to become better in the coming year.  Thus, I will indulge myself in some inward-looking (in a collective sense) narrative.

Perhaps you are already familiar with the idea that the Left in general, while having the best argument, is weak to defend it. In an attempt to find a cure to this ailment, I first had to identify the source of the disease, and I can’t find a better explanation than the desire of liberals to “be nice”. This image of the Left, as going to great lengths to “be nice” and not to offend anybody, morphs into justifiable belief that liberals can’t fight for their values.  “Being nice” manifests itself in many ways, including using reason when a show of force would be more effective, fighting for minor issues, like bike lane rights, when voting rights are being undermined in broad daylight, and taking offense at being called names while democracy is being undercut by unfair redistricting. Continue reading

Bikers in NYC

What’s the deal with bikers (I mean bicyclists) in New York? They have all the rights and no responsibilities, it seems. There are no rules for them: they ride on red light, they ride in the wrong direction, they don’t slow down for you when you cross the street, and all of this is seasoned with such sneer, with such superior attitude! Because, you see, they care about the environment, so they don’t have to follow rules. They are holier than thou. They seem to be the most powerful lobby in NYC, because I can’t think of any street these days that doesn’t have a bike lane.
When I cross the street, I’m accustomed to look in the direction of the coming traffic, even if it’s my green. There are plenty of nuts out there. But I have never seen a car going the wrong way on the one way street. Bikers do that all the time, and I don’t think they see anything wrong with it. You see, they are not really transport so traffic rules do not apply to them; and they are not really pedestrians, so they don’t have to wait for their green light. I was crossing a street the other day, my green, his red. He’s riding his bike faster than 30 MPH and is not slowing down. I thought to myself – I’m not stopping or speeding for this fucker – let him brake. Two feet from me he finally swerved to the side and only after I shouted at him: It’s your red! He said OK as if there was nothing wrong with it and kept going. The other time I was unloading my car in front of my building and because I haven’t learned to hover over the ground yet, I was standing in the bike lane. Of course, here comes the biker. “Bike lane!” he shouts at me. “Fuck you!” – I didn’t find any other words. But seriously, how am I supposed to load/unload?
Once I was driving on Houston and there was one of those in front of me, obviously aware of my presence behind him, but I guess he was trying to make a point. I was trying to make a light and he was going, like 10MPH, wallowing in his own environmental superiority and thinking that he’s teaching me a lesson. I’m a very good driver, so I went ahead and surgically cut him off, literally 2 inches away. Didn’t touch him, but apparently scared the shit out of him, because he caught up with me on the next light, screamed some obscenities at me and shifted my left mirror. It gave me great satisfaction, though, because I’m sure next time he will think twice before slowing down traffic.

It’s not that I don’t care about environment, don’t get me wrong. I just hate to see this holier than though attitude among some on the Left, that really makes them no better than the Bible-thumpers, so certain in their righteousness. All I want is for them to follow the fucking rules! Because I do. And let me live my life the way I want.

Political Correctness Run Amok

I hope  you all read my earlier post about political correctness. As you may know I’m in favor of calling things what they are rather than use euphemisms and try not to offend anybody. As such, it is one of those one in a million cases when I agree with, gasp!, Bill O’Reilly.

Here’s what he had to say about the Fort Hood shooter.

Bill O’Reilly on Fort Hood shooter

Note Obama’s remarks at the beginning of the clip. He has the full grasp of the issue, that it is the guy’s faith that drove him to this insane act. He doesn’t really say it in those words, but he seems to understand what’s going on and is not trying to appease certain sensitivities.

Liberals and Political Correctness

I think the Left should stop being PC. I think we should call things their names. Being easily offended has turned into a business for some these days. We live in an era of fake outrages, political or otherwise. Besides, banning certain words from circulation creates the opposite effect – they gain greater value, albeit in private conversations. Which makes us pretend that we’re PC in public and enjoy dirty jokes in the company of friends. If that’s the goal of political correctness then I say the mission was accomplished. Even in un-PC places like trading floor, where you hear all kinds of fancy variations of ‘Fuck’ and ‘Shit’, you won’t hear ‘Nigger’ and ‘Cunt’(my favorite word). Once I said it, to appropriately describe that crazy woman who crashed her van at the Taconic with 5 kids, while being stoned and drunk and going full speed at the wrong direction. I mean what other words would you use to describe her? My co-workers first froze for a few moments in silence and then giggled a little with some noticeable discomfort. And my boss is hardly PC. Then I made countless Jewish jokes, but those were much more easily tolerated. Let me digress to say a few words about Hebrews. If only everyone had mental health and self-irony of an average Jew, there would be no need for PC. Most Jews can appreciate a joke at Jewish expense and I suspect they even write and distribute it themselves. Majority of Jewish jokes that I receive are sent to me by my Jewish friends. Here’s one for your amusement: Q. How was copper wire invented?
A. Once, two Jews grabbed the same penny…

Let’s talk about blacks.

Consider this picture for example.


It clearly makes fun of black people’s love of fried chicken. I think it’s pretty funny. The same way jokes about the French and their wine/baguettes and Russians and their vodka. Which brings me to jokes about Obama. So far most Obama jokes were along the lines of him being a “nigger” and Michelle looking like a “gorilla”.


To me they have about the same “funny” value as, say, Hillary having fat ankles, with the added effect of making the rightwinger using those terms look like the mean-spirited caveman that he is. I mean, come on, guys, you have to make fun of stereotypical behavior of the specific group. For example, I think it was on Bill Maher, he said that during the meeting between Obama and Queen Elizabeth she kept clutching her purse. That’s funny, because it uses a common stereotype! Come on, conservatives, I know you have a pedestrian sense of humor, but you can do better than that. Just make sure that your jokes make fun of what a black guy does, rather than just the fact that he is a nigger. I hope you got it.

Here’s a clip from one of my favorite movies. Very appropriate I must say. Very present day.

I guess my point is that taking a joke at your expense is a sign of emotional maturity. Many groups are still a long way from that, like Muslims, for instance, who can’t take a joke that simply describes their customary behavior. Or worse, leads some of their more fanatical followers to kill a cartoonist.

Sure, there will always be those who are offended. And let them be. I don’t want to watch my language all the time for fear of offending someone. Do you prefer to spend time with someone who’s uptight and proper or someone who can be candid enough to be a constant source of dirty jokes? Liberals can seize this and become known for their political incorrectness and leave the strait-laced rules and lack of candor to the conservatives. The Right is easily offended nowadays, I guess because they are out of power, and they are masters at creating fake outrages these days, like the tea parties. Sarah Palin famously can’t take a joke about herself. On many occasions she showed she is devoid of any self irony and she gets defensive where there’s no need. Thus bringing even more attention to her insecurities. So liberals, you work is practically being done for you by insecure Right, who, before the Obama era was limited to a shunned urine-soaked Bible-thumping prophet on the street corner, but has now grown to a whole army of these types. All you have to do is sit back, relax and let them make fools of themselves.

As a finishing thought, I never imagined I’ll live to see the Right quoting books on anarchism and calling for civil unrest. What times!