You know how when a private equity/hedge fund buys a company (say a pharmaceutical) they then immediately drive the prices of drugs up X times? Why can’t the same trick be done with a gun manufacturer and the price of guns/bullets? To take a cue from Chris Rock’s $5000 a bullet routine, imagine the kind of margins the new owners would get. Sure, those margins would be borne on the backs of rednecks, but hey, if you can rip off sick people, why can’t you apply the same distilled capitalism and freedom to the very people who love to defend it?

It’s a beautiful proposition on many levels. First, it will be massively profitable – as there seem to be a never-ending demand for guns and ammo in this country. Second, if guns and ammo are more expensive than it is now, the users will be more mindful about shooting rounds. Third, and I think this is the most beautiful part, a lot of hedge funders, because they consider themselves civilized and live in big cities and have children in schools, support gun control. If that support is combined with a financial incentive they will thus represent a formidable countering force to a gun lobby. Not to mention the ensuing dynamic that will further complicate the relationship with the GOP donor base (hedge funds) and grassroots (rednecks).

Where is Martin Shkreli when you need him?