Dear Democrats! As much as I want to use a bunch of epithets for you, I’ll restrain myself. Instead, I’ll tell you a story. You know, back in the days, when warfare consisted of men on horseback with arrows it wasn’t really that much different from warfare today.

In early 13^th century there was a powerful shah, Muhammad II, ruling a vast empire covering modern day Iran and Afghanistan. He was enormously wealthy and had a well-trained army. To the east of his empire the Mongols roamed the vast empty steppes. You know, of course, that Mongols didn’t have any structured government, didn’t have a capital and were, in the eyes of their cultured neighbors, a bunch of unwashed ignorant barbarians. Their presence, however, didn’t bother the shah much, since his armies were far more superior in numbers and better trained.

Genghis Khan, the leader of the Mongols may have been an unwashed barbarian, but he was also a smart strategist and a shrewd warrior. He sent a small caravan of goods into a small city of the shah’s empire to look like a gesture of good will, but in reality to test whom he was dealing with. The ruler of that city suspected they were spies and had their heads cut off and sent back to Genghis Khan. That, of course, meant war.

The shah didn’t worry too much about that. Let them come, he would crush them. The war maneuvers have unraveled along the 500-mile river that ran from north to south and separated the empire from the Mongolian territory to the east. The shah sent his mighty force to the river and after a fierce battle on the southern end the Mongols retreated. He also received the word of the Mongolian army consisting of motley crew of bums in rags on starving horses. Seeing that Mongols were not a match for his army he sent even more troops to the southern border. A few months later, however, another attack came unannounced, this time from the north side of the river. Unprepared for this kind of maneuver, the shah quickly dispatched a large part of his army to the north. This kind of back and forth continued for a few more months, exhausting the shah’s army. The troops were vast and immobile. They had the wagons and provisions and could not move as fast as the Mongols, each of who was riding one horse and having several other “spare” horses with them. This way they could drink horse’s milk, ride a fresh horse, and eat it if it became necessary.

As you can imagine this constant pestering, even though the Mongols were outnumbered, took a toll on the shah’s resources. Mongols relied on their mobility, dexterity with arrows while riding, communication techniques that included flags and torches rather than messengers. Shah had no option but to retreat to the west. Imagine his surprise when he arrived to the city of Bukhara, which was to the west of the capital city of Samarkand only to find the entire Genghis Khan army waiting for him at the city’s gates. Genghis Khan has managed the impossible: he crossed the impassable desert from the north, using his knowledge of chain of oases. Shah was destroyed; he fled with a handful of soldiers to an island in the Caspian Sea where he died of hunger.

Now, I hope I don’t need to interpret this story for you. You went to college, you know what a metaphor is. The teabaggers, the unorganized pests, are winning the battle. They are loud, they don’t have a clear message (they are against many things), they look like a bunch of buffoons, but their message sticks and yours doesn’t. You offer universal health coverage, they scream of the upcoming socialism and shit in your pool; your ideas are good, they don’t have any ideas. But they stand as one, they circle the wagons, they demand compromises from us and don’t give any concessions. And you, with all your intellectual superiority, bicker among yourselves, worrying about stupid minutiae when your house is on fire. For them when it’s time to think – they attack, when it’s time to attack – they attack. For you, when it’s time to think – you think, when it’s time to attack – you still think.

Indecisive pussies! Simply disgusting!