Masters of the Universe

Wall Street. My favorite topic.

I’m sure many of you have seen this letter. We are Wall Street

Listen up little boys. If you are who you say you are, that is you eat what you kill, why am I hearing you crying like children and calling for mommy? If you’re as tough and smart as you think yourself to be, then you will make money under any circumstances. If you only can make money when the market goes up then you’re no different from the Joe Mainstream for whom you show such disdain.

You’re embarrassing your profession with this letter. True predators hunt in all kinds of weather and don’t blame the gazelles for not cooperating. If circumstances change they either evolve or die – they don’t turn into their prey (as you intend to do). If you exercise just a thought of teaching or mowing lawns, then perhaps that means you’re in the wrong profession to begin with, because true carnivores don’t try on a zebra costume when the going gets tough. They grow sharper teeth or develop faster legs or adjust hunting strategies. If you can make money under Bush and can’t make money under Obama it doesn’t say anything about Obama – it says a lot about you. If you think government is inept – you make one bet, if you think government is smart and anti-business you make another bet. If you think things are bad under Obama and stimulus is not working– why don’t you short the market for example? If you think otherwise – why don’t you go long? If you don’t know what the government is going to do – stay flat for a while. The rules of the game have changed – deal with it. It shows that that you’re a one trick pony or worse – a crook with the loaded dice. Try making money the old fashioned way – by making calculated bets, adjusting for political risks and anticipating the government moves, and not complaining about government joining the game. You’re used to sitting at the poker table and seeing fishes and thinking that the way it’s supposed to be. Now a few sharks joined the table and you object! Masters of the Universe my ass! Pathetic wimps! And please stop crying. If I want to hear more wailing I’ll listen to Eddie Vedder.*

*I love Pearl Jam, but Eddie Vedder does indeed wail.

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